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Admiring the good in others, and self: Respect


            There is a lot of negative self-talk going on ‘out there,’ and it’s causing problems. Self-talk ties in with matters of respect, or lack of it.

            Respect is how you feel and react to someone you admire or hold in high regard for all of the good qualities you see in her or him. That individual may be compassionate, kind or helpful to you when you really needed someone there to encourage you, or maybe you witnessed them unselfishly going the extra distance for someone else. That person treats others respectfully, listens when someone is speaking. If you look closely enough, you may see that they have a healthy self-respect.

            Respect gives the benefit of the doubt until a person proves that they are worthy, or not. Respect can begin with two very powerful words: Thank you. Showing gratitude for things others do for you is encouraging for them. And people who feel appreciated are more productive in their performances on the job and in the family. A person will go above and beyond when they feel appreciated. Forty years ago, men who worked in the factories talked about having become just a number, someone who could be replaced immediately. They recalled the days when their supervisors came out to the shop, talked with them, and knew the mens’ wives and children’s names. Those employees felt they were a part of something and worked hard for the company because they were stakeholders in the company’s success.

            Everyone can’t perform at the same level of ability, but good effort deserves some recognition, too. Taking someone aside to tell them how much you appreciate how they helped makes a personal and sincere statement to that individual. And sincerity is required because a person can tell when you mean what you say. You may never know how something you said affects them.

            Self-talk enters the picture when there isn’t enough information to accurately process meaning.

When you have self-respect, you take care of yourself. You stand up for yourself because you are as deserving as anyone else. You don’t hold yourself back because you are afraid to step on someone’s toes. You make sound choices that are in your best interests as you strive to be the best you that you can be.

            Self-talk is that dialogue that goes on inside your head. It can be positive or negative. You may be happier if you turn the negatives to positives. You could live longer, spend less time depressed or distressed, get through hard, stressful times easier and enjoy better physical and mental well being. You might even have greater resistance to the pesky common cold. These are just a few good reasons to think positively.

            Positive thinking doesn’t mean that you don’t have problems to cope with. It means that you look at those problems as challenges that you can overcome rather than being obstacles that stop you in your tracks.  

            Focus on positive thinking, advises the Mayo Clinic. What areas do you need to change? How can you turn your negatives to positives? Take a moment once in a while through your day to look at what you are thinking right then. If your thoughts are negative, change them to something positive. Don’t be afraid to laugh. Laughter is the best medicine there is, especially a hearty belly-laugh. Get enough exercise and eat a healthy diet. Surround yourself with positive people who uplift you. When you start to beat yourself up, stop. Would you say those things to someone else? Don’t say them to you, either. Accept yourself as you are. Make the changes you are looking for in a positive light and go for it. You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone else. Respect yourself as well as respecting others.

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